Meanies being mean to sweeties

As we eat dinner, we go around the table and share our best and worst parts of our day. It’s a fun way for the girls to get a peek inside our days spent at work and it’s a really interesting way for us to learn about what they did at school because each day when we ask them, “how was school?” their response is very non-detailed. Usually these table talks give us more insight.

Last week when we went around the table Lydia told us that the worst part of herschool day was dealing with a mean girl, who for the purposes of this story we’ll call Sally. She said that Sally was being mean to her, and that Sally told Arlene on the playground that she, Lydia, was a brat. What?! Why would she say that?! We asked more questions and found out that this Sally character is not a nice little girl. She had no grounds for calling Lydia a brat. Sally calls people names, and Lydia told us she uses the word “ain’t” a lot, and as Lydia says, “Ain’t is NOT a word so I don’t know why she says it!” True that, little girl.

We told Arlene that if someone ever says anything bad about her sister, she needs to stick up for her sister. Because that’s just not cool. We told Lydia that she’s not a brat, and that maybe Sally is the one who is a brat, and she’s been called a brat so maybe that’s why she’s calling other little girls a brat? We told Lydia should just stay away from her. That response seemed to work, both girls agreed.

Fast forward to this past Tuesday. Lydia came home with a scraped hand and chin. Guess who tripped her on the playground?  Miss Meanie Pants Sally!!!  I had to watch what I said in reaction to this news. What I wanted to say is “Miss Meanie Pants Sally is MINE and that little shit is going to be into trouble with me!”  But what I did say was this, “Did Sally get into trouble from the teacher for tripping you?” Lydia said she did. “Good. You need to stay away from Sally. Ignore her. Don’t talk to her. If she does mean things to you, you need to tell your teacher, okay?” Lydia agreed whole-heartedly.

Now, this is our first experience with another kid hurting our kid. And I really hope this is an isolated incident and that Meanie Pants starts being nicer to Lydia. I don’t feel the need for parental intervention at this point, but I will go all out if something else happens. The girls are in first grade. How can other 7-year-olds be this mean, at this point in their lives? Maybe I have an altered, rose-colored glasses type of outlook here, in thinking that little kids can’t be mean until they are older, say maybe 10 or older? For sure teenagers will be mean. But 7-year-olds? My girls are not mean, at least not to other kids. {They can fight with each other pretty darn good, but that’s someone ok, they’re sisters.} They know not to be purposefully mean to others because we have taught them that. Obviously Sally needs some more parental instruction.

It’s hard to not be with the girls at school and not being able to protect them at all hours. But that’s part of parenting, you have to let them go. The girls get on the bus in the morning and they’re gone … at the mercy of other kids and other adults and you just hope and pray that their day is a happy one and a good one and one where no one is mean to them.

Lydia didn’t seem affected by Sally’s actions on Tuesday. She was upset it happened, sure, she cried because it hurt and I think she was scared because it hurt her, but she brushed it off pretty quickly. I think she was more just surprised that it happened. My girls are always surprised when other kids do bad things. I hope that they’re always like that. I hope good behavior is just the norm and that bad behavior is something they rarely experience. I remember other kids being mean to me in school, but I remember it happening later, say middle school. Schools are full of bullies, I get that, but that doesn’t mean I’m okay with it when a bully is hurting one of my sweeties.

Do you have any experiences with other kids being mean to your kids? How did you react? What advice did you give your kid?

4 thoughts on “Meanies being mean to sweeties

  1. Oh man, this makes me sad. I love the way you teach your girls to handle these situations. I hope Sally learns to be nice and leaves your girls alone. Poor Sally, though, she probably is treated poorly at home.

  2. Mickey Dee says:

    Sad. I hate these kinds of stories.

    Stella got hit by an older boy at school, right in front of me. She's 2! He didn't hit her hard, he kind of bopped her in the nose, but it was definitely done intentionally. He gave me a look afterward that was like, “what are you gonna' do about it?” It took every power of my being to not grab him by the neck and throw him to the ground. She didn't cry, but the rest of the night she kept saying, “hit nose, hit nose. Not very nice” So sad 😦

    Our friend Amber convinced me to tell the administrator at the school. So I did. They handled it nicely. I had to pick him out from the class composite like it was a line up!

    But, ooh boy, I'm certainly not prepared for this part of parenting. Nobody hurts my baby!

    Sounds like you and Lydia handled it well. Good for you for teaching them to be kind. Children definitely learn from example. Sounds like Sally's parents need a talkin' to.

  3. I had this situation with a girl threatening to punch my daughter on the bus “because she had fake diamond earrings” (like Id let a 7 year old wear real diamonds?!) I told my daughter the same thing, just to ignore her and she probably wants attention, and when she didnt get a reaction from my daughter that she would stop. I told my daughter that if, however, she DID punch her, to defend herself and stand up to the girl. Eventually she stopped the teasing when she didnt get my daughter to cry and then we moved, so now I dont have to worry about this little bully at all. Its tough!

  4. @SassyTimes – we're thinking Sally has been called a brat many times. Sounds like she IS one!

    @MickeyDee – that's hilarious – a line up! Remember the bus incidents I had last year with a boy being nasty to Lydia? (Poor Lyd is susceptible to these types of things for some reason!) I took that bus driver to task and that boy got his due! If something else happens to her at school it's ON like Donkey Kong.

    @Liz – oh dear, punches? Shudder.

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