A milestone (and I’m an emotional wreck)

Tomorrow, the girls start Kindergarten. I have been such an emotional wreck this entire week. They’ll board the bus tomorrow morning, and I’m sure I’ll shed a bunch more tears. (I’m taking the morning off work in anticipation of being a weepy-face!)  I’m a pretty even keel type of person; I’m not usually very emotional or a freak-out about stuff. But this whole Kindergarten business?  Oh my.  I think the reason why it’s hitting me this way is because this milestone of  the first day of Kindergarten has allowed me the pause to reflect back on the last six years. Six years, how fast they’ve gone by!  It’s unreal.

I’ve had to fill out lots of paperwork for their school and each time I have to fill out the “relationship to child” line and I write “mother” I about choke up because geez, I’m just so incredibly privileged to be their mother. So privileged. For those that know me, you know that the girls are my miracle babies. When I wanted to become a mommy, I never imagined that I’d be able to be a mommy and that I’d have twins, two little girls that would so completely steal my heart. I was doubly-blessed and continue, daily, to be blessed. They are truly miracles and I am thankful for them, daily.

We have such unabashed fun with the girls! They bring such joy to our lives.  Each day we laugh because they’re funny and they’re silly. A bad day at work is diminished to a distant memory when the girls tell a funny story or present us with a picture they had drawn, special for mommy or daddy. It hasn’t all been laughs and giggles, believe you me, we’ve had our share of challenges and our share of “okay, now Mommy needs a time out before I kill you all” type of moments. But we’ve made it. We’ve made it this far. The girls are kind and gentle little souls. That’s been our biggest parenting goal, to raise the girls to be respectful, nice and loving to each other and to others. They’re not perfect by any means, but they are well adjusted polite little kids that say thank you and please and they clear their plates when we all sit down as a family for dinner, which is every single night. We all know or have seen in the store that annoyingly hyperactive loud little kid. Our goal as parents is to raise two girls that are not annoyingly hyperactive and loud. We’ve created structure and continuity for them and I believe it’s benefited them. We’ve had help, unmeasurable amounts of wonderful help from my mom. She’s been the girls’ babysitter since I went back to work when the girls were three months old. They have such a special relationship with my mom and I just can’t put into words how much that means to me. I’ve been a working mom but a very lucky working mom because I’ve had my mom.

I know the girls will exceed in school. They’ll be in different classes, which will be interesting. They’ve spent their entire lives together. It’ll be interesting to see what their reactions will be to being apart. I have no doubt they will be perfectly fine. They’re smart little cookies!  Lydia is such a strong little girl, both in spirit and body. She’s so responsible and she aims to please, so she’s the first to offer to help out around the house. We give her chores and it pleases her (and us!) to complete them. She’s the first to offer to fetch something for someone and does it with a smile and most likely a kiss and a hug. She’s a hugger and a kisser which pleases her grandparents to no end!  She’s always ready to dole out the loving. She’s caring and is quick and smart. She’s a little shy but comes out of her shell easily enough.  Arlene is our creative spirit. It’s hard to tie that girl down, she’s always on the go, go, go, doing and making and laughing and giggling. Her creativity makes my heart swell. She’s methodical and particular with her creations, everything has to be just so and perfect. No idea is too big for her – if she thinks it up, then she believes she can make it. She’s very social and is quick to make friends and gets so excited about just about everything. She’s not as giving with her kisses and hugs as her sister, but it makes it all the more special when she does give the loving and cuddles. She’s a little comic and gets a laugh out of life and makes us laugh.  Oh, my girls, how I love them so.

I know that these next 12 years of school will fly by. I can’t imagine how emotional I’ll be when they walk across the high school stage to receive their diplomas. Forgive me for being such a sap; I just can’t help it. I’ll post pictures of their school morning tomorrow. I was considering following the bus to school, just to make sure that they make it, but I’m going to restrain myself and stay put at home and wait for them to return home. I know they’ll be fine but it’s just so hard. They’ve never been out of the care of a family member, with the exception of preschool, but I dropped them off to preschool and walked them to class and sat them down at their desk, being sure they were all set before I left them. Tomorrow, they’ll be picked up from our curb and, off they go!  Mommy needs to let go, a little bit. And I will … a little …

5 thoughts on “A milestone (and I’m an emotional wreck)

  1. HUG

    Seriously, this post made me tear up big time. So well written and so much true emotion. I think it is healthy to feel the way you do and even healthier that you are letting them find their own ways and be their own person.

    You are amazing. Seriously. And you and M. have raised two wonderful girls.

    And can I say having met your girls that you have raised two of the sweetest, smartest, most creative, hilarious, and well-rounded young ladies I have ever met. Seriously, those two girls are going to do AMAZING things and this is the start of all those amazing things that they are going to do…both together and on their own.

    Another hug to you AND your girls! Can’t wait to read about how their first day of school goes!

  2. I can't even imagine the emotions you're experiencing… Makes me sade just thinking about what that must feel like.

    You're girls will do great! 🙂

  3. Crying.

    BIG crying. I'm serious. You can't write posts like this when I'm pregnant and already so emotional.

    W. – you're a great mom. SUCH a good mom.

    KUDOS to you for being to those girls exactly what they need. For nurturing their spirits and souls.

    You're in inspiration, lady.

  4. Awe, wow…I can't even imagine the emotions when sending your children off to school for the first time. I know I'll be a wreck. You sound like an amazing mom. And great photo of your girls. They are just too cute for words.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s