Noooooooo! I don’t know what is happening!!! In the past four days, I have seen THREE women wearing stirrup pants! WHY?! Why do they still have those wretched “pants” in their wardrobe?! One especially offending woman was actually wearing the classic outfit of the black stirrup pants and a long sweater covering her butt. She had to have found the sweater in the sale bin at Goodwill. No woman in their right, sane mind would have a sweater like that hanging in their closet. I was horrified. She was walking into the grocery store, I was driving out of the parking lot and almost got into an accident. The sight was forever etched into my brain and I can’t get it out. I remember wearing stirrup pants in middle school and it was NOT A COOL TIME FOR ME! Stirrup pants and sweaters were so “comfy” but oh so wrong. When I wore the stirrup pants and sweater combo, I had a “spiral perm” and pink glasses and I used to curl my bangs into all sorts of unnatural frizzy contortions. I was wearing stirrup pants and wishing my leg hair would grow so that I could use the totally awesome electric shaver I got for Christmas. Stirrup pants mean pimples and greasy foreheads and brothers that farted in your face and scrunchie hair ties and wanting to “fill out” so I could wear little bras with pink bows.
I need to go wash my face now.