For rent: two darling children, aged 3 years. They are in excellent health, fully potty trained, but they do have the occassional accident, or ‘non-accidental intentional peeing or pooping in the pants episode.’ They are strong willed and are often found yelling “I want to do it myself!” They are loving when they want to be. Will give hugs and kisses on demand. Will also fall to the floor in a fit of screaming and crying fury. Have been known lately to cause scenes and be irrationally loud and obnoxious when out in public. Inquiries welcome.